Self-care has become a popular term that one often hears in everyday life. A simple definition is: “the practice of taking action to improve or preserve one’s health.” The concept of self-care was introduced to the field of psychology long ago but it has become increasingly more popular in the mainstream media and in everyday conversations. Self-care was a concept initially developed by the medical community in the 1950s and referred to a range of healthy behavior patterns around exercise, diet, sleep, etc. that patients could engage in to improve their well-being. This referred to mentally ill and elderly patients who needed long term care. In the 1960-1970s, self-care was reconceptualized to apply to professionals in emotionally challenging jobs with high risk for burn out or traumatization, including EMTs, social workers, psychologists, etc. The basic concepts and principles of self-care were also embraced by Black activists during the Civil Rights Movement who advocated for the use of techniques such as mindfulness, meditation, and yoga to prioritize caring for themselves. This continues today with the Black Lives Matter movement and with an emphasis on managing the emotional impact of racially charged violence in BIPOC communities.
Since its initial introduction as a psychological movement toward better health habits that helps us maintain well-being and cope with illness or disability, self-care also seems to have given rise to a financially-driven industry, which, grosses an estimated $10 billion per year, most of which originates from the beauty sector. When I hear this statistic, I wonder if we’ve veered from the actual intent of self-care and if we know what it actually is. Are we developing habits that promote wellness or are we buying products that temporarily make us feel better, improve how we look cosmetically, and distract from us exhaustion and dissatisfaction?
As a psychologist, I have been in many professional development meetings or lectures where colleagues have emphasized the importance of “self-care.” There is an acknowledgement of how stressful the profession can be and how we need to make sure time for self-care. Then the topic quickly changes to what more we can be doing professionally. Here is the part that no one discusses: how are we supposed to take time for self-care when the schedules required of our professional and professional responsibility doesn’t allow it? Where does self-care fit between appointments, clients, parenting, relationships, events, “leaning in,” and “hustling?” I used to have conversations with colleagues or friends where I would say I’m feeling tired or burnt out and they would make comments such as, “what are you doing for self-care?” I would then try to justify my lack of “self-care activities”, mumbling about having gotten a massage a few weeks ago (I think) or that I was planning to go to yoga this week (50-50 chance at best). The problem is that self-care becomes yet another obligation we have to fit into an already overscheduled life and if we can’t do it, it’s a failure on our part to manage our resources and “find time” to relax. I would feel embarrassment and a little shame that I couldn’t even make self-care work.
In the United States, our societal systems have made insufficient efforts to support self-care on the other end; they do not lessen productivity requirements or workloads to adjust for workers’ self-care needs and well-being. Providing opportunities for rest and time off from work is common practice in other countries. In Europe, most countries shutter their doors for the entire month of August and all workers are given vacation. There is a law in France that employees have the “right to disconnect,” setting forth working hours before and after which employees are not supposed to send or check emails. France’s working week was establish as a 35-hour week in 2000. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-38479439 Spain is currently trailing a 4-day, 32-hour work week. In addition, 35 North American and approximately 20 global companies are trialing similar 4-day work week programs, which is a promising trend indicating some employers are considering a more balanced schedule for their workers.
Most parents feel overscheduled and time-starved, and the current societal structures do not support habits for healthy living. Americans are encouraged to overwork and often overtly or (subtlety) punished if they assert boundaries for their personal lives or personal obligations. For example, if parenting obligations interfere with availability for work responsibilities. We are rewarded for overworking and often shamed for “indulging” in having free time. Parents have difficulty accessing affordable childcare, which would relieve financial stress from families and allow parents more time to care for themselves, so that they in turn, could care for their families.
True self-care, meaningful thoughtful routines designed to build physical and emotional health, are desperately needed, especially at this incredibly tumultuous time in our society. A poll conducted at the beginning of last year indicated that Americans were experiencing their highest levels of stress since the pandemic began. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2021/02/adults-stress-pandemic
With the recent events in the Ukraine, it is likely that stress and anxiety remain high. Self-care is not a thing like a massage, a pedicure, or an aromatherapy candle that will magically restore well-being (although I am not knocking any of these things—they can be sources of relaxation and comfort and certainly be part of self-care practices). Self-care is a broader shift in how one thinks about one’s health and adopts daily habits, health practices, and prioritizes positive routines as a result.
Below are some components of self-care:
- – Have a good sleep ritual and get good quality sleep
- -Get exercise regularly
- -Eat a healthy, balanced diet
- -Maintain interpersonal relationships, socialize
- -Lean on others for help and suppor
- -Practice relaxation responses such as meditation, mindfulness, and yoga.
Intuitively, it makes sense that these changes will improve your quality of life and research has shown that many times over. You’re all probably saying, “duh.” They sound very simple but they are not easy to implement and maintain in a systematic way.
This may be a time to push for restructuring changes. https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/hr-topics/talent-acquisition/pages/interactive-quits-level-by-year.aspx#:~:text=Last%20year%2C%20an%20average%20of,2019%20average%20of%203.5%20million.
The great resignation, which began in 2021, saw the exodus of 3.95 million employees from the workforce per month. Many assumed this consisted of young workers in their 20s with more flexibility and less need for stability in their employment. However, research indicates that the largest demographic leaving their job were mid-level employees in the 30-45 year-old age bracket. A large portion of this population presumably have children. https://hbr.org/2021/09/who-is-driving-the-great-resignation Some of the factors driving this trend appear to be chronic stress, high workloads, childcare responsibilities, and pandemic-related pressures and anxiety, which have caused people to rethink their careers.
With companies finding it difficult to attract employees, this could be a time to advocate for structural changes in work practices with respect to increasing pay, reduced working hours, and increased family leave, improved healthcare and vacation benefits, rethinking flexible schedules to support childcare, and encouraging work from home opportunities, among other concerns. I believe these changes are what is needed to truly enable self-care to our working adults and parents, giving them the time and support they need to sleep, exercise, spend time with friends, recharge, and invest in their physical and mental health. It seems that our society desperately needs these changes to invest in its working population and families, making employment more sustainable and enjoyable in order to revive a stable work force and that values its employees’ health.
For all of us trying to figure out “self-care” who are often stressed, limited for time, and overwhelmed, making small changes can be most effective. Targeting one habit to incorporate into your daily or weekly routine can feel like an achievable step (e.g., meditating for 5 minutes in the morning, meeting a friend for dinner or coffee once a month). Beginning with a small goal that does not require a large shift in lifestyle can be the most effective way to build habits slowly.
For tips on developing self-care routines: